DEAR ABBY: My 23-year-old son does not want to work and spends all his time playing video games. He's obsessed with them. He disrespects my house—and me—by not cleaning his room.

I don't know what to do. He's my son, but he is a user and feels he's entitled to live here. He pays no bills and blows all his money on gaming. He quits every job he has. I love him and kicked him out once, but he got on Facebook and told people what bad parents we are.

All he says is he wants to be happy. I think he's out of touch with reality. He has no place to go if I kick him out. What do I do?

—DAD WHO'S HAD IT IN OHIO

DEAR DAD: Your son is an adult, even if he doesn't act like one. Give him a deadline to find another place to crash—perhaps with a roommate—and be out of there. If he says he has no money, remember that he comes up with money to "blow."

It will take backbone to stand your ground, but you must not make your decisions and live your life based on what your son will post about you on Facebook. People often vent and exaggerate on social media. Your son is living in an altered reality because you have allowed it. If he isn't forced to stand on his own two feet, he never will.

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DEAR ABBY: After my father died, I found a box of letters my late brother sent to the family when he was in the U.S. Air Force. He would have been in his 20s at the time.

The letters mention girlfriends, the woman he did marry and the time spent in jail as a result of a botched robbery. (It was very out-of-character for him, by the way.) He had a dishonorable discharge. After all that, he started a new life and became an ideal father until his 40s when he decided to divorce his wife of many years.

The letters reveal a lot about him. I thought his children might like this insight to their father, but my younger brother thinks it would be a bad idea. If this was my father, I would like to have these personal letters. What do you think?

—UNKNOWN IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR UNKNOWN: I'm glad you asked. Your brother's children are all adults now. Tell them you found the letters and ask them if they would like you to share them. I'm betting the answer will be yes.

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DEAR READERS: Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and no Thanksgiving would be complete without sharing the traditional prayer penned by my dear late mother:

Oh, Heavenly Father,

We thank Thee for food and remember the hungry.

We thank Thee for health and remember the sick.

We thank Thee for friends and remember the friendless.

We thank Thee for freedom and remember the enslaved.

May these remembrances stir us to service.

That Thy gifts to us may be used for others.

Amen.

 

Have a safe and happy celebration, everyone!

—Love, ABBY

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.